At the beginning of my article, I stated that it was risky to write it. Sure enough I have had a negative reaction, so I am going to try to reassure my readers that I don’t like or dislike anyone based on nationality, as that would be very unintelligent.
I DID blame the messenger because I didn’t like the message – I thought I had made that clear – it doesn’t matter where she was from, I would have used that as the reason to resent her. Yes she was definitely a pain in the neck, but so was I when I told a guy on the plane to stop using his phone without earphones…we’re all pains in the neck at times, we’re all justified at times, we’re all unreasonable at times…I am sure the guy on the plane thought I was a horrible Karen or whatever misogynistic term came into his head. He was Irish so he didn’t think “Effing Irish!” but if he was from somewhere else he probably would have.
So for the record: there are nice people in Ireland, and some not nice people in Ireland, there are nice people in the UK and not nice people in the UK, and in France, and in Spain and in the USA and in India and in Laos and Bangladesh – need I continue? And I myself was a not-nice half-Irish person in Spain who stole a lemon.
So, just in case anyone is still unsure where I stand.
Nationality is meaningless.
Colour is meaningless.
Humans are humans. We are all the same.
That’s my view – if you disagree, there’s nothing I can do about that.
My bona fides – do I need them? I am not British but I am a quarter British. My grandparents were British. My ancestors are British. I lived in Britain for years. My kids are half British by blood. My husband is British and my in-laws, whom I love dearly, are British. I am embarrassed and mortified that some people may have misunderstood the point of my article because it means I have hurt people’s feelings. But you know me pretty well through my writing, and you either trust me or you don’t – not much I can do to convince anyone of anything.
Whoa. i didn’t even go there reading that story … and am sorry other people did.
I think it’s good for me…remember that bit about dwelling on things for days? I will dwell on this person’s hurt for days. But you can get used to that feeling and it doesn’t make as big an impact, which is what I need if I am going to write. When I was first rejected as an artist back in 2006-2007, it hurt SO BADLY. A hundred rejections later – more – it still stings a little when I actually make the effort to apply to anything but these days I never read past “Unfortunately…” and within an hour or so it’s faded completely. So maybe I should write more pieces that make me uncomfortable.
Róisín, Thank you for Lemongate, a thoughtful and acute examination of an uncomfortable feature (or is it a bug? No, since I think your point is that we all have it, and you’re right) of human nature. It was coincidentally extremely timely, helping me see loathing of being in the wrong as normal and human, rather than a fault that compounds the original offence. Suddenly it’s easier to get past. As for the nationality thing, the way it was framed made it clear that this was part of the point – would have thought it was impossible to read malice, chauvinism, or whatever cultural offence there: indeed it implied a sharp critique of such sentiments.
Hi Janet! It was such an eye-opener to me to realise I had such a loathing of being wrong. I thought I was cool, self-aware, all that good stuff. It’s more complicated than that, isn’t it? And I really appreciate that you understood how I was trying to point out my own failings. I am still uncomfortable at having exposed myself so much, but so be it. As to whether unwillingness to be wrong is a feature or a bug: SUCH an interesting idea. I have a dear one who is very quick to condemn everyone else for their sins, but is equally quick to point out their own, without excuses…oh, aren’t people just endlessly fascinating! And thank you again, I really needed the words of support. X
I can’t imagine why anyone would misconstrue or be offended by Lemongate! Please don’t change your words or style. You have explained everything with clarity.